Can A Relationship Survive When One Partner Is More ‘Spiritually Evolved?’
Do you feel more spiritually evolved than your partner? And if so, what does that mean?
As souls, we come to Earth to have a human experience, each one of us seeking to learn different lessons and meet different people. We are all on different paths, and for those of you in relationships, you may notice that your own path differs from that of your partner’s. Do you feel more spiritually evolved than your partner? And if so, what does that mean?
Thinking You’re “More Spiritual” Than Others May Indicate…
Thinking you are more spiritually evolved than another being may be an indication that you need to work on your own self-growth. This mindset can create division between yourself and others, an illusion that does not reflect your inner Divine presence. Part of becoming “more spiritually connected” is practicing non-judgement. If you find yourself judging others about their “level of spirituality,” that may be your Higher Self encouraging you to do more inner work. We are all a reflection of one another, so by perceiving others as less spiritual, perhaps that’s your soul’s way of telling you you need to gaze inward more.
There is also a common belief that once you “become a spiritual being” you need to show it through meditation, yoga, veganism, and other modalities. Even though these practices have aided me in my personal development, that doesn’t mean they’re required for spirituality. Plus, there is no such thing as “becoming a spiritual being” because we are all inherently spiritual beings. If you think you’re more spiritually evolved than your partner, that could be your ego talking and what is ultimately putting stress on your relationship.
For example, four years ago I adopted a plant-based diet, ultimately fuelling my interest in spirituality. I immediately started to encourage my former partner to eat vegetarian/vegan because I thought it would help him in the same ways it helped me. It took me a long time to understand how, in some ways, that negatively affected my relationship with my partner. We need to accept the fact that there is no right or wrong when it comes to connecting with your Higher Self. We are all on our own spiritual journeys and there is no “one path towards enlightenment.”
Fostering A Healthy Relationship While Pursuing Different Paths
There is a false notion that’s common within the New Age Spirituality movement: you shouldn’t maintain relationships with people who don’t hold the same spiritual beliefs as your own. You don’t need to abandon old relationships; in fact, you may find that you’ll learn even more from them than you will from more like-minded people. In terms of your relationship, keep in mind that you don’t need to share your thoughts or impose knowledge onto your partner. By focusing on your personal growth and raising your own vibration, you raise the vibration of the collective, and in particular, the vibration of those closest to you.
My former partner and I were together for four years. Over the course of our relationship, we both changed immensely. Our values, our beliefs, and our interests changed radically over that time period; however, we maintained a loving and healthy relationship by always being open-minded and not imposing information onto each other. Don’t get me wrong, we both taught each other a lot and exposed one another to new ideas constantly, but we also understood that we weren’t always ready to accept knowledge at the same time as each other. We expressed many of our beliefs, but also knew when to keep quiet, ultimately allowing us to grow together instead of apart.
Maybe You Are More “Spiritually Evolved” Than Your Partner
To be clear, I believe we are all following our true paths and that there is no correct definition of spirituality. However, if you are struggling with the fact that you and your partner are going down different roads, these are some of the qualities I’ve observed in people I believe to be in alignment with their spiritual paths:
- Loving, compassionate, and kind
- Willing to talk about anything (including darker subjects)
- Educated (not necessarily conventional education, but rather a deep curiosity about the universe and society)
- Not ego-centric
- Doesn’t equate success with finances
- Altruistic and generous
- Great listeners
- Practice detachment
- Honesty (this includes being honest with themselves)
- Doesn’t shame you for feeling emotional extremes, particularly the negative ones (I see this a lot in New Age Spirituality, as there’s a stigma surrounding negative emotions. If there was something truly wrong about feeling emotions, our souls wouldn’t have chosen to incarnate into a human body with such a broad emotional spectrum)
It’s okay to be in love with someone that doesn’t embody all of these qualities; in fact, it’s beautiful. However, if you’re bothered by the fact that your partner lacks one or more of these qualities or you’re working towards attaining these and your partner is not, then perhaps you need to reconsider your relationship.
How To Deal With Letting Go Of Your Partner
Thinking you’re more spiritually evolved than your partner could also be intuition, a sign that your soul is telling you to move on from your partner. People come in and out of our lives for a greater purpose, each one teaching us an important lesson. If you recognize that your partner has fulfilled his/her purpose in your life, then it’s okay to let that person go. Appreciate the fact that you shared your relationship and learned from it, but also have the strength to let your partner go if the time comes.
If you choose to end your relationship, or alternatively, if you’re on the receiving end of a break-up, try to put yourself in your partner’s shoes.
Empathy can be one of our greatest allies in navigating through perceivable dark times. Understanding why you and your partner are no longer serving each other can also be helpful in accepting a break-up.
During the last few months of our relationship, my former partner voiced his uncertainty about our future, which I had difficulty understanding until I tried perceiving our relationship through his eyes. Once I stepped into his position, I could finally grasp why he felt this way and I knew in my heart that letting go of him was the best decision for both of us. Instead of using the term break-up, we referred to our separation as a sabbatical. This made our “sabbatical” easier because it wasn’t meant to be a termination of our friendship or the innate love we feel for one another. We both appreciated each other and were grateful for how much we learned from our relationship, but ultimately we knew that the romance aspect of it was no longer serving either of us. By empathizing with one another and trusting that the universe would guide us on our own paths, we ended our relationship as beautifully as it started and are still good friends.
We all define spirituality differently and you may find that your own definition changes as you grow. If someone has different beliefs than you, recognize the beauty in individuality and duality. Remember, sometimes love can block us from knowing when to let go of our partners and other times the ego blinds us from seeing our partner’s true beauty. Regardless of whether you’re in a relationship or not, know that the love you share with another person can also be fueled within yourself.
“The minute I heard my first love story, I started looking for you, not knowing how blind that was. Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere. They’re in each other all along.” — Rumi
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