Is It Possible To Change Your Partner's Behavior? How Much Should You Try To Change Your Spouse Or Partner?

Everyone has something they'd like to change in their partner. But is it possible to change your partner's behavior? How?

Is It Possible To Change Your Partner's Behavior? How Much Should You Try To Change Your Spouse Or Partner?
Photo by Romina Ahmadpour / Unsplash

You only receive the love that you think you deserve.

The recognition of love that is denied by your partner is the recognition of love that you deny yourself.

If you are experiencing a troubled relationship, it is because you are co-creating it, day by day, through self-limiting beliefs, judgment, and separation, as well as through the unconscious projections of your inner child.

Still in your arms
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Projections go hand in hand with the expectation of change: “I will change my partner’s behavior!” but real healing begins and ends within ourselves.

When our healing is fully achieved, either our partner spontaneously changes, or we end our relationship. This is a natural happening: our reflection also changes if we change something within ourselves.

We can also decide to find another partner; in reality, if we do not heal and cleanse our projective mechanisms, our new partner will recite the same role, continuing to act as a mirror of our deepest emotional scars.

In any case, we do not have to remain involved in a romantic relationship at all costs if it becomes too painful or if our partner is abusive towards us.

If the decision to end a romantic relationship does not spring from the recognition and the healing of our projective dynamics, we will be continually attracted to partners who are only apparently different from their predecessors.

Sooner or later, our new partner will start to behave in a similar way to the previous one: this will continue to happen unless we heal what the projective mechanisms have caused us to internalize. To completely untie the bond with a partner, the mere act of physically leaving the relationship is not sufficient. The bond can only be untied by an inner act of consciousness and love.

Only by assuming co-responsibility (and not feeling guilty) can the relationship then be brought to its conclusion.

We no longer blame our partner for having been the cause of our pain. We no longer keep our mutual bond alive through the link of resentment. We free ourselves from the long shadow of a painful romantic relationship only when the partner - whatever they have or have not done - is thanked and blessed from within our hearts, recognized as our mirror, and honored as our master.

How many times, at the beginning of a new relationship, have you believed in the illusion that “this time it will be different”? How many times have you found yourself trapped again in the same pattern of relationships, continuing to experience the same suffering? 

To recognize your partner as your projection beyond the illusion of separation is the act of consciousness through which the healing of your romantic relationship blossoms.

It is also the final act that frees us from the infinite, painful repetitive patterns of our romantic relationships.

When a romantic relationship ends, it may be that we do not become involved in a new relationship for some time.

Photo by Anthony Tran / Unsplash

Time, in this case, is indeed relative: it can be short, it can be long, it does not matter. This is the time that our soul has given us to learn how to honor and love ourselves. A time for learning to stop begging for love and to finally become the monarch that reigns in our own hearts, where we no longer miss anything because everything has already been given. It is crucial not to force time but simply let things happen: when the time comes, love will knock at our door.

Do not look for a new love: love yourself and let love find you.

l fo love
Photo by Kenny Eliason / Unsplash
Only then, will you realize if you have truly healed yourself from your projective mechanisms and your lack of self-love. If the inner healing is ultimately achieved, you will pass through the fire of passion without burning yourself, unconditionally loving your partner, with both passion and compassion. Instead of looking for love, you become Love.

From our book We Are Human Angels, We Inspire Change: A Complete Course for Angelic Humans


It Teaches You How To:
  • overcome the real matrix of ego.
  • heal from the pain of the past imprinted in your emotional body.
  • be truly happy and make other people happy too.
  • consciously create your own reality and become love in action.
  • tune in with the universal flow of love, joy, and abundance.
  • build a healthy, joyful romantic relationship and achieve the sacred union.
  • manage your intense sensitivity and make the best use of it in helping others.
  • help others while respecting the Sacred Law of Free Will
  • fulfill your highest potential as a Human Angel and find your own mission here on earth.


  • open your heart and unfold your wings.
  • miraculously transform your life through the awareness of the Oneness.
  • turn your consciousness into action.
  • reunite in a collective action of conscious and awakened beings with a common vision of a new world.

We Are Human Angels, We Inspire Change: A Complete Course for Angelic Humans

This book is a fully equipped wisdom package that gives you all the tools to change your life forever and to make the world a better place.