This One Need Can Block Your Growth!
Sometimes our need for safety keeps us anchored to situations we no longer like. However, you can get rid of fear of change and begin to live the life of your dreams!
I feel so compelled to share something with you: your need for safety holds you back from growing fully. As Souls we are always, on a subconscious level, seeking freedom. We yearn to be free. However, our need to feel safe and secure sets boundaries that are the opposite of freedom. Can one feel safe and free at the same time? Yes of course – but that combination is rare for most of us. Those two values crash and cause a lot of contradictions in emotions and behaviour. However if we can get to that point where these two values and emotions can work in harmony…Wow, what a life that is!
As I have mentioned before, I have done thousands of therapy/coaching sessions working with the subconscious mind. I am so thankful for all the learning I have accumulated, and for the opportunity to share the insight with you. I am never saying that what I share is 100% truth, because that we can not know, however, what I share is from real life experiences with real people.
Photo by Samuel Zeller / Unsplash
The other day a profound insight came to me. I have pondered this before from an analytical point of view. A woman, let’s call her Victoria: when our session started she blurted out “every time I feel good and my life is going well, I attract major drama into my life. Drama at work, in my relationships, accidents, etc. I don’t understand why this keeps happening!” Prior to our session, Victoria mentioned that she had an intense desire to change her life: to break free from her job and pursue what she really wanted. She wanted to end her relationship, because she and her partner had grown apart, and there was no love or passion between them anymore. She wanted to start a new life, but all of these were really huge steps out of her comfort zone. She associated these changes with losing control. Even if she couldn’t stand the situation, as difficult as it was, it still gave here a sense of security, because she at least knew what she had and what to expect. She told me that all her life she had been afraid of making changes. She had never felt secure as a child and that resulted in the need to always seek security – this created a pattern in her subconscious mind, and it had stayed there and become stronger over the years.
As she told me: “Every time I feel good and my life is going well, I attract major drama into my life.” Suddenly a realization came to me. (Let me say this: when I work with people I am convinced that I channel information from my higher self and it transforms into words that “pop” out of my mouth). I answered her back: “The drama is opening up the doors of possibilities and opportunities. When you experience drama you yourself create the feeling of being unsafe, and in the past it has forced you to go back to your old patterns, because that feels safer. The drama you create is there so you can change. You won´t change if everything is going well.
I am not saying that we need drama to make changes, but they are a natural part of life and most people need drama to get a kick in the butt and make the change needed.
Also, the reason you create drama as an alternative way to make a change is because you have a belief / conviction that when your life is good, then drama will come. There is no way that drama is created without you consciously or/and unconsciously believing it / expecting it, because you have experienced this as ‘truth’ all your life. So it is understandable that you believe that it is true. But it is just a personal belief. Just because it has happened in the past does not mean that it has to happen again. What would happen if you connected to your inner warrior and decided that this time you will win? The Universe is testing you and giving you a gift. The doors are open now, the drama invites you to create the change you need, and on the other side of drama there is freedom.
Victoria looked at me and nodded. It had hit right home. It resonated with her and gave her a completely new perspective on what all the drama really meant. She had not interpreted it as an opportunity but rather a curse. Most people won’t grow when things are comfortable. For most, drama is the best way to grow, but they will not grow if they focus on the drama, because then they do not see all the solutions and possibilities that are right in front of them.
Becoming best friends with drama
Photo by Tiko Giorgadze / Unsplash
What would happen if we became “friends” with the drama? Accept it. Know that it is an opportunity for learning and growth. Believe me, the energy of the drama would fade dramatically just by this one small act. Acceptance does not mean that it is ok, or that we won´t change – it means that right now this is the reality – If you don’t like the reality, create something different. Ask yourself “What do I want?” Only by focusing on how you do want things to be and what you do want in your life will you be able to create change. Focus on solutions. There are always solutions, but you can’t attract solutions with the same thinking that created the problem.
Photo by Edu Lauton / Unsplash
Our need to feel safe…
How many dreams have been buried in the graveyard because of it? Think of all the books that have not been written, all the music, all of the ideas and all the resources…buried.
To feel safe and secure is an emotion that is self-created. If we need to have that relationship, or that job or that habit or that amount of money or…then we will never feel safe, because all those things are physical. The physical won´t last forever. It can change in an instant. And that creates a ‘scarcity’ mentality in many of us. Deep down always afraid to lose it all. Detaching from those criterias may lead to unknown territory…a world that we did not dare to dream of. Freedom, security, Love, peace, harmony, passion….
What would happen if Victoria adopted a believes like:
- Everything that happens is for my higher good.
- I am always safe, no matter what happens in my life.
- I am always taken care of by the Universe.
- I am a part of something much bigger than myself.
- I am divine intelligence.
- I have all the resources I need within me to feel safe and free.
- I am free to live my life fully.
- When I have drama in my life, something good is about to happen!
Ultimately we ourselves decide how we react to external circumstances. That is the power of free will. Use it wisely. Are you willing to let go of the need to be safe all the time? To have control over everything? Free yourself. Life is too short to play small. A full life is at the end of your comfort zone: Freedom and security walking hand in hand, smiling and having fun.
How do we start walking this path? Decide now to do so! The rest will follow. You will see it when you believe it.
You are a powerful Soul in a human body. Your are Love. You are the Universe expressing itself as a human for a little while in eternity. Make the most out of it!
Love fully, Live fully and Shine Your Beautiful Light.
Originally written and published by Kenneth Soares on Feb 19, 2017