Losing a parent is never easy. Losing both is even harder. And there’s no way to avoid intense feelings of grief.
Whether you lost your mother or father long ago or in recent times, that emptiness you are facing will get better eventually.
And it does not matter if you had a great (and close) relationship with them; grief and sorrow are always a feeling to deal with once our parents leave their earthly presence.
Whether you had a great relationship with them or didn’t get to spend much time by their side, the bond with your parents is a legacy that does not go away. Your parents are the first people you see in this world. They taught you how to do so much and stood by your side as you grew up into the person you are today.
While they might have made mistakes, as we all do, they tried their best to create a life worth living. They fought hard for you, to give you the best they could. Besides, for them, you were (and still are) more valuable than all the world’s gold, and this is not negotiable. But now they’ve passed away, and with relief, you realize they are not fighting so hard anymore. This person who meant so much to you and still does is finally free in every sense.
I am so sorry that you have to go through this, and I know that it’s never going to be something you find peace through. Sad memories always reopen, and you will have to face the sting of missing your mother or father (or perhaps both). For years to come, you will wonder what things would be like if they had played out differently, but avoid getting trapped in the pitfalls of regrets for what has been vs. what has not been said or done. You need to remember not to allow that wondering to take control of your life.
Your mother or father wouldn’t want you to sit sulking over his or her death. That person who meant so much to you would like you to move on through your life, celebrating that they had existed in the first place each day. Take pride and happiness in knowing that you were a massive part of what made life worth living for the person you’ve lost, and remember that even without being here, they are still with you on some level.
And sometimes, our loved ones send us messages from heaven.
Don’t be afraid to lean on other family members when feeling weak. We all need a little help sometimes, and reminiscing over the past helps more than you might think. You’re not the only person missing someone right now; eventually, your children will face what you’re facing now.
The average human being’s life is short, especially compared to that of our planet (Earth is considered to be 5.43 Billion years old), and we all must do our best to remember those who have passed. By appreciating them properly and sharing their stories and experiences through generations to come, we honor their lives and give meaning to all their efforts to give us the possible life. If you continue to grow and share things about those who matter the most, whether alive or not, their teachings will always live inside us.
You might feel unfortunate now, but it will get better once you’ve allowed yourself time to grieve properly. Your mother or father would not want you to pause your life and remain stuck without them. Instead, they – from wherever they are, want you to continue doing the things you love so that they can see you flourish in every sense of the word.
Your parents want you to live a fulfilled life, so do not disappoint them!
Enjoy every moment. Please do this for you, do this for them too!