Is There A Way to Help Others Without Getting Sucked into Their Drama?
Helping others genuinely is one of the most 'human' things we can do. The flip side of the coin is that we might get sucked into their drama. Here are some tips on how to help others without getting sucked into their drama
Helping others is what makes us better persons. Altruism is a virtue, and those who are always willing to help others are blessed by the grace of God.
But there is a flip side of the coin: we might, in fact, end up getting sucked into other peoples' drama to the point of being too involved. This can cause us suffering, and prevents us from achieving our goal: that of helping others genuinely.
We can help others only when we have been asked to do so.
When someone is suffering, we can offer, always and anyway, to be there for them, but we are free to intervene only when we have the consent of their souls.
“Remember: darkness is an illusion that disappears with the light. When you decide, I'll be there for you, but the decision must be yours.”
Souls, before incarnating choose, with Free Will, which path to walk: what steps to take, which trials to face for their evolution. And if they still do not learn from the trials of the past, they will continue to face similar trials until they consciously decide to turn their experiences into awareness and love. Nobody can do this for themselves.
When we help others we need to always keep our intentions pure, without having any attachment to the result of their actions. A compassionate action is always unselfish and free from any expectation. It is deeply rooted within the soul and excludes both the involvement of the emotional sphere and our projective mechanisms.
Compassion is not an emotion because emotions are not permanent; like the high and low tides that simply come and go. Compassion is a permanent state of being; to feel compassion means to be in a never-ending state of loving and non-judgmental understanding toward everyone.
If we neither silence our minds nor open our hearts, if we do not compassionately and consciously observe others, if we activate our projective mechanisms, we will become inevitably entangled in other people’s dramas.
We cannot help anyone when we are emotionally involved because by projecting ourselves onto them, we end up identifying with them and with their suffering. To feel compassion for those who suffer does not imply that we should suffer with or for them, nor that we have any expectation that they can heal their lives.
Unconditional Love, together with compassion, works for the good of everyone without expectation.
When we identify with others, expectations suddenly manifest.
We want others to stop suffering, to heal from their illnesses, and to solve their problems because in this way we too can get rid of our own suffering projected onto them.
When we identify with others and we expect them to heal, there is still ego. Furthermore, to play the role of helpers puts us in a comfort zone, where the focus of attention has shifted from our unresolved issues to the troubles of others. Often, behind an appearance of wisdom, a tangled mess of untreated emotional wounds is concealed.
Trying to help others to heal without having first healed ourselves is simply a strategy of the ego to nourish and expand its power.
In this way, the ego, misleadingly and slyly, makes us believe that we are better than others when in reality we carry a hidden deep-rooted sense of inferiority. The ego makes us think that we are saints when in fact we feel sinners; innocent when in reality we feel guilty.
If there is no self-forgiveness, there are feelings of guilt. When there is no self-forgiveness, we search for forgiveness outside ourselves and we start begging for God’s mercy. And, to beg the forgiveness of a God who is seen as judgmental and vindictive, we devote our existence to the atonement of our “sins.” The interference of the ego in other people's lives, concealed under the guise of help, is often intimately connected with an unconscious motivation of sacrifice and atonement. Taking care of others in an egotistical way represents a vain attempt to appease our inner pain and feelings of guilt.
When there is no self-forgiveness, there can be no love for one’s self. Trying to love others without loving ourselves means to shift our center of balance outside of ourselves, with the result of being constantly out of balance. When we no longer separate ourselves from love, and we feel that everything is love, we stop falling into the illusion of other people’s suffering, because we are no longer trapped in the illusion of our suffering. We are no longer blinded by the illusion of saving other people at any cost, nor do we allow our personal will to interfere with the Free Will of others, forcing them to conform to the expectations that we have of them.
Not a single person can heal their life if they do not take responsibility for their own suffering and their healing. We know that the “medicine” that has healed us is the same “medicine” that can heal all those who choose to take it, and we are here to offer it to them.
This “medicine” is the consciousness of the Oneness and the divine nature of everyone in the Oneness.
We are here to help others to remember that they are divine creators and that they have chosen, with Free Will, every experience in their lives, even the most painful. We are here to help them to remember that they are infinite beings who continuously suffer because of the illusion of having limits.
We are here to bear witness to our healing so that we can be examples for others.
From our book We Are Human Angels, We Inspire Change: A Complete Course for Angelic Humans
THIS BOOK HELPS YOU TO COMPLETE YOUR HEALING JOURNEY AND BECOME AN ANGELIC HUMAN
It Teaches You How To:
- overcome the real matrix of ego.
- heal from the pain of the past imprinted in your emotional body.
- be truly happy and make other people happy too.
- consciously create your own reality and become love in action.
- tune in with the universal flow of love, joy, and abundance.
- build a healthy, joyful romantic relationship and achieve the sacred union.
- manage your intense sensitivity and make the best use of it in helping others.
- help others while respecting the Sacred Law of Free Will
- fulfill your highest potential as a Human Angel and to find your own mission here on earth.
THE WORLD OF EGO HAS BEGUN TO COLLAPSE. THE TIME HAS COME TO:
- open your heart and unfold your wings.
- miraculously transform your life through the awareness of the Oneness.
- turn your consciousness into action.
- reunite in a collective action of conscious and awakened beings with a common vision of a new world.
We Are Human Angels, We Inspire Change - A Complete Course for Angelic Humans
Unleash Your Angelic Potential and Make the World a Better Place